The question still remains about the existence of GOD. Still to this day, many question the existence of GOD. Monotheists believe he is the supreme reality. GOD is believed variously to be the sole creator of us. Since there is no universally accepted definition of GOD (which is described in a non-specific sort of sense), GOD creates a lot of controversy.
Does GOD exist? Is GOD just one person? Does GOD mean all? Are there several GODs? The question of GOD's existence still remains unanswered to many people.
I write about this topic because I would like to enlighten you with why I believe GOD exists. I have quite a number of theories (and not just from my experiences that I will share today, and I will explain those at a later date.) Sure my faith is strong, but today it is even stronger than it has ever been. Without hesitation, I do believe in GOD. You might believe I am crazy or have a different opinion of me, but that is entirely up to you. I could give you syllogismic equations about existence in general or speak about several Epistemology theories from other individuals, who have their name carved in stone dated back to B.C. but I think I'll post my "reasons" why I believe in GOD.
Reasons why I believe in GOD...
My first reason I believe in GOD has to do with my near death experience I had at 18 years old. When I was 18, I tried to commit suicide. I thought it was the only way out. At the time, I was convinced this was the only solution for me, as I convinced myself it was "the way". I took hundreds to thousands of pills (and I am talking about strong stuff ranging from Percocet to Endocet to Aspirin, etc). I literally knew I was going to die, because I took these drugs in large quantities. I have done enough research to be aware of the effects of such narcotics. After I took them in an upset yet very selfish, self loathing rage, I felt like I was starting to feel clear. I remember laying down shortly after and falling into a sleep that I would never forget. I had a near death experience, to which I saw things that were talked about in the Bible. (Keep in mind, I have read the Bible previously to know exactly what it was) I felt like I was lost in a dream. Kind of trapped, but not in a negative way against my freewill. I pinched myself and I could feel it, so I knew I wasn't dreaming. I knew I was elsewhere. I felt at peace and right there I questioned whether or not it was my time to actually go. I was dancing with my deceased grandfather and he said to me "Sarah, it is not your time yet", which I proceeded to wake up instantaneously, puking out my emotions. I felt like an entirely different person instantly. It wasn't until then, I realized I had died and came back to life. I cannot believe I survived. Why me? This is question that remains unanswered, still to this day. Mainly because of the pills I took and how many I took. (I know of people who have taken not even half of what I consumed and they died). My faith has grown so much stronger since and I have gained a much more grasped conception of life. I thank GOD everyday for saving me.
My second reason for believing in GOD has a lot to do with observation. In death and dying there is a lot of discussion which bases it's premises on sensory organs and consciousness in general. My grandmother was dying (she unfortunately passed away in 2004) and as she laid on her death bed, she would say things that made no sense to me. I say this because even though she believed in GOD, she wasn't spirtual and she never discussed GOD. I never talked about GOD with her because he wasn't talked about that much. Very rarely she would discuss GOD. This lead me to believe she was either atheist or agnostic, however; I didn't judge her and kind of never discussed GOD with her, as she never talked about GOD. I witnessed many things when she was dying. She would ask my deceased grandfather to get her a cup of coffee. She would call out her deceased sister's name. I had some minor belief, she had already crossed over to the other side. What made my observation extraordinary was the other person she had a conversation with was GOD. She would have conversations with GOD. She would say things like "I want to go now" or "Let me go", ETC. and she would bring GOD up. She would also mention Jesus Christ. (I know this is a bit off topic, but I would also get these horrible headaches during her dying. Like the worst pain I ever felt. I remember being in the hotel room and taking a percocet and still having horrible pain from these headaches. I actually think I took two and still had the pain. When she died, they went away. How awkward is that?) How strong is the possibility for someone who never mentioned GOD nor Jesus Christ to suddenly mention both?
Ever since I tried to commit suicide, I would have ongoing, sparatic, premanitions. I have had them mainly in my dreams, although; some days I would be completely conscious. Like in February 2003, when the spaceshuttle crashed, 2 weeks before/prior I had a dream I was an astronaut in space. I saw the shuttle crash. I woke up in tears, never even imagining this would ever happen. In 2001, right before the twin towers incident, I had a dream that I was in a taxi with Usama Binladen. I had never seen this guy before, so didn't think much of it. Later did I realize, that was the man responsible for everything at that time. In February of 2005, I had a prediction that a hurricane would hit us. I had a dream that I was in a horrible rain storm. I had another dream two months later that I was in that same storm. I had a dream that occurred right after my mother's friend's suicide. His name was "Jim" and his lastname was "McKeon". He shot himself in May of 2003. I had a dream that he was in a prison cafeteria of some sort. On top of the prison were the words "suicide" in big letters. A boy in high school named "Jason" with the lastname "Miller" committed suicide in 1998. He was sitting near Jim. The people were arranged in alphabetical order. I was so shocked. I remember what made it quite shocking for me was seeing people that I have never even seen in my life in this cafeteria. I could not believe it. The dreams happen on occassion. They go from often to just once in a while to rare. Why? Is this a sign from GOD?
I am well aware that people don't like rap music (luckily I am a huge fan of mixing limericks with music, so I love it), but regardless Tupac Shakur (a well known rapper) was a poet. He said once "Reality is fake, but Dreams are for real" and it got me thinking about the dreams I would have. Anyways, I had a dream that I was in heaven. This occurred in 2005. If you have read the holy bible, the way heaven is described is amazing. I actually thought I did die at this point, as I couldn't wake up. I felt trapped in that state. I felt at peace, but I still questioned my life and whether or not I was actually gone, considering I have/had nothing wrong with me for me to die. It wasn't until shortly after seeing the meadows and realizing I was in Heaven, that I forced myself out of it. I felt like I wanted to be in that state forever. When I was back into this life, it took me a while to really question what I had actually seen.
The examples I am stating, my experiences, etc are simply only the icing on the cake in terms of this issue. In Quantum Mechanics, certain "things" exist because of GOD, based on the relation to certain conjugate variables. Music is an example of this. Technology is another example of this. The entire theory of unity is so diverse. This is why Issac Newton's law of univeral gratification is so accurate even though it interferes with Einstein's theory of relativity, because it's true. If GOD didn't exist, why is he talked about so much and referenced in questioning why theories and experiments work/don't work? Santa Claus doesn't get this much attention.
Someone asked me about dualism and if my experiences and theory were related to biological naturalism and property dualism. This is much more of a mental phenomena, ladies and gentlemen. This is something that trumps a lot of unanswered questions. This is experience. My experience, in which I choose, to share with you. Something that has moderately affected my life, my state of well being, as well as, my senses. Something that I can explain, but cannot expect you to believe.
The existence of GOD remains a question, yet I know my own thoughts on this subject.
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