Storytime: I dated an UFC fighter

In July of 2010, I met an UFC fighter. We started talking and dating shortly after. At the time, it was around the middle of Summer so it was shortly after I was hit by a car in June. He and I would talk about virtually everything including the cheesy martial arts movie called "No Retreat, No Surrender" which was about a starving martial artist who learned to fight by Bruce Lee coming into his dreams. If you love martial arts, you know this movie. There was never a dull moment in the beginning of our relationship. He was funny and always had great things to say. At least, at this time.

As the days passed, I started receiving awkward messages from different women on Facebook regarding this man. One of them was from an illegal immigrant named Erlinda, who told me she hooked up with him while he was dating me. When I questioned him about it, he admitted to me that he hooked up with her earlier in the year months before he ever met me. I know this will sound judgmental and even off topic, but I guess "hooking up" is the normal thing among people who are trash, but to me, I found it repulsive as I find sex to be special. After I was furious regarding his past tryst with the UFC groupie, he and I decided to connect our relationship statuses on Facebook shortly before he told me he blocked her. He, then insisted that I do the same. I was actually shocked he would hook up with such a person considering he is conservative, but that is irrelevant. 

Shortly after, I discovered his roommate Amber Cordelli had a thing for him, as he told me about it when he would complain about her to me. He said he had no interest in her and only saw her as a friend. He made it crystal clear simultaneously that she wasn't his cup of tea and that he wasn't a fan of her aesthetics nor physique. I didn't really push the envelop nor ask him more about it, as I didn't want to light any fire let alone add fuel to one that isn't even started. I did find it odd how he would complain about this person yet was living with her. It just didn't make any sense. I also didn't know her and had no reason to judge her or draw any conclusions about her. It is baffling what he shared with me about this individual, but looking back at it now, the person was nothing more than a shadowy nobody who gave him a place to stay. 

When he wouldn't call me, he would be teaching martial arts at a local MMA gym in the Sterling, Virginia area where he lived. I flew to Washington DC in October of 2010 about two weeks after my birthday. He greeted me at the airport where he couldn't keep his hands off of me. I am not a fan of PDA (or public displays of affection), so as much as I tried to resist his advances, he just kept kissing me. I am an optimistic woman, so I didn't want to tell him how inappropriate he was being as I really liked him at the time. And after all, we were in a relationship. 

I met his roommate Amber the same night. She was still up when I showed up in the night. As I shook her hand, all I could think about was what he told me about her. I tried not to stare at her nor say anything, so I bit my tongue before smiling and murmuring "it is so nice to meet you." I felt quite awkward meeting her. Why? Because he told me she had a thing for him and the type of person she was. It was very weird how he and his friends would attack this woman. I will never forget eating at PF Changs in Fairfax where he and his friends would attack her and say she had a "beer belly". I actually took the initiative and told them to stop bullying her before attempting to change the subject to a more positive nature. I don't care how ignorant a person is, judging their appearance is just really sad. And on a more serious note, I was starting to see the UFC fighter's true colors the more I would hang out with him.

In spite of the weird vibes I got from him, it was nice to take a vacation from work to see him. The next day we got into a fight over something so minor. I cannot even remember what it was about as it was years ago. I only remember feeling a strong disconnect from him and could only think to myself "is this man for real?" I didn't want to say too much because I know not everyone is perfect and perhaps he would was having a bad day. We hung out everyday for a week. After the third day, I felt like I just didn't want to be with this person anymore simply because I didn't like how he acted and I felt like I was being lied to. We flew to Boston on the fourth day while I was there and he complained about everything including people he was friends with the entire time. It was just very weird to me.

He would gossip about virtually everyone and I didn't understand it. One time he actually had the audacity to complain about a guy who held a seminar right in front of one the guy's students. It just didn't make any sense. He was extremely negative and his energy was starting to kind of rub off on me. I was picking up quite a few red flags including deception based on just this, but tried not to overthink much about it. One thing I noticed was he was extremely dependent and had little-to-no money. On the phone he made promises to take me shopping, but in person he had no money. Most of the time, I would pay for everything. One time we ate out with a friend of his and he literally ate the pasta off of my plate when I wasn't finished eating. It was just so strange to me.

I'm thinking if a UFC fighter is not successful and they don't have money, they create an image for them self that is distorted or simply not real. They create false hope. I am not a gold digger by any means, but at least be honest instead of creating an image for yourself and making promises you simply cannot keep. You know what I mean? He belittled several of his friends and the only thing I could think was "if he is talking bad about them, he must be talking bad about me to others also." I didn't know whether or not what he said was true or false, but one thing is certain, I started to think he was talking about me behind my back. Something just wasn't right, but I didn't really know what it was hence why I tried not to overthink so much. I have a huge heart and I didn't want to create any disdain or rectify the situation to make matters any worse. Perhaps there was a reason why he acted this way, I don't know. 

Two days before I was scheduled to fly back to Montana, we had a great day as we spent the entire day at Tyson's Corner mall. Then, we decided to meet with his friend Mark for dinner. Some how the illegal immigrant was brought up in the conversation from what I remember. It was very inappropriate of his friend to bring this person up, considering this person tried to create so many weird problems. His friend proceeded to mention some girl named Quyen. I looked over at my now ex and saw him make gestures like "no" or "shhhh". When I used his phone to make a phone call, I saw the name several times in the call history. When I originally saw the name, I literally didn't think anything of it until now. That is when I discovered his deception. His true deception. He was talking to other women while telling me I was the only woman. This was while he was telling me that he loved only me. 

I started getting bad vibes virtually immediately and was thinking of a way to get out of the relationship without it becoming a mess. I just knew instantly that I wanted out. I didn't want to create any drama nor make him hate me. I just wanted out. His computer was filled with some unattractive woman wearing a corset (which I had asked him about when he turned it on, the day after I got there). He claimed he didn't know how to delete the pictures and the pictures were just sent to him by a UFC groupie. I started thinking about when I asked him about it originally, the second day I was there. Then, I remembered the video of the big Jerry Springer girl dancing in Florida which he had saved. I was starting to get physically ill over what this man was doing, but I didn't want to fight with him. I simply didn't want to be with him anymore. 

I completely ignored him on the car ride home. He accused me of shutting down because I ignored him and didn't tell him that I knew he was being unfaithful. We got into a huge argument the moment we reached his apartment. I cried because I felt betrayed just before telling him what I truly felt about him and the women he cheated on me with. The next day, I told him that I couldn't do this anymore and I didn't want this relationship anymore. He said "Sarah, don't do this" but I made my mind up that it was over. I could have ignored his lack of manners, lack of class and dependent persona, but the infidelity I could not. Cheating is a sin that one cannot ignore, even if you love the person.

As much as I wanted this to work, I realized that I had no connection with him, as I didn't see him as relationship material. To me, loyalty is everything and he wasn't someone I could ever see myself with. I didn't trust him after that at all. Without trust, a relationship is technically non-existent. A relationship without trust is like the earth without the sun. That same day we argued, I decided to pack up my belongings and wait for him to take me to the hotel. He allegedly was talking to Amber his roommate. And looking back at it now, my guess was he was doing much more than talking that day. Gross right?

I waited for an hour before he took me to the Crowne Plaza hotel where I stayed overnight until I caught my plane ride back to Montana. I made him purposely pay for the hotel, as he owed me that for all of the horrible things he did. All of the horrible things he did to me and put me through. I felt quite a few emotions that day; however, anger seemed to be embraced in more ways than one and triumphed all of them. I'm glad the fight happened though, as I learned a vital lesson. Just because someone is a fighter for the UFC, doesn't mean they are a good person. Just because a man tells you he loves you, doesn't mean he does. That night, I went to the hotel restaurant where I had a Long Island Tea, veggie burger and fries. I met some wonderful people there including Steve Wozniack and Ron Wayne, who actually were so nice and helped me with my bags the next day when going into the shuttle bus to the airport.

The UFC fighter texted me once I landed back in Montana, but I never wrote back. I was just done and wanted nothing from him nor anything to do with him anymore. He started harassing my friends, including my friends Billy Housh and Peter Stukas, shortly after. But in spite of his banal intimidation efforts, I still continued to ignore him. Then, his roommate Amber (who is apparently trashing me and lying about me all over social media using the alias "bacon") started harassing me on social media asking if I sent packages to her place for him. This was a lie either he created or she created, as he said she had a thing for him. I didn't even know of his address, as I deleted his number and everything about him from my life. 

To add more fuel to the fire, he even had the audacity to call me while being intimate with another woman about a month later, blaring the song "Doin It" by LL Cool J. Real mature right? I blocked him completely from my life. I knew he tried to hurt me, but it didn't work because I knew the kind of person he was and realized then he wasn't what I wanted. I was depressed and extremely sad over something I could not control only to realize I did nothing wrong. It was him and today I realize that now.

Additionally, I also found out from a mutual friend that the woman I thought he was cheating on me with (Quyen) ended up being his girlfriend only a week after we broke up. Nice guy right? What a sad guy, but it wasn't my loss by any means. In fact, I could never bring myself to ever contact him ever again as there was simply nothing there. Once a cheater, always a cheater, and I was just completely done. 

Comments

Anonymous said…
Sounds like he brought drama by getting involved with low life people. Amber uses the alias Bacon and is all over social media trashing you. She’s obviously very jealous and angry. The UFC fighter you dated is quite gross. Not sure what you saw in him.
Keyvan said…
That one woman he cheated on you with looks like butthead from beavis and butthead. Erlinda looks just like butthead. He downgraded. Cordelli is real plain looking. He definitely downgraded. He looks like the Geico cavemen. Good to see you have high standards in men now. Did you learn anything?
Anonymous said…
Amber Cordelli is psycho. I use to date her. She’s crazy!
Heidi said…
sarah, I love you and I love your honesty. I’m a long time blog reader. He must have been crazy to cheat on you but I saw his FB and Twitter and he’s rough looking with cauliflower ears and a wrinkly face. The women you mentioned are downgrades but cheaters usually hit and quit ugly women because it gives them a sense of pride. Your current boyfriend and the one before him seem to be much better than he was. Please write more story times. I love these!
George said…
What a disgusting low life loser. He must have been crazy to cheat on you. I would kill to have a woman like you.
I LOVE TRUMP said…
illegals not only cross the border for free, they spread their dirty legs for free handouts.