Storytime: I dated an UFC fighter

Aaron Riley UFC
In July of 2010, I met an UFC fighter. We started talking and dating shortly after. At the time, it was around the middle of Summer so it was shortly after I was hit by a car in June. He and I would talk about virtually everything including the cheesy martial arts movie called "No Retreat, No Surrender" which is about a starving martial artist who learned to fight by Bruce Lee coming into his dreams. If you love martial arts, you know this movie. It stars Jean Claude Van Damme and never really made it huge in cinema. I don't want to give the movie away, but if you enjoy martial arts you need to see it. There was never a dull moment in the beginning of our relationship. He was funny and always had great things to say. At least, when we started seeing each other and at the time.  

Our relationship was great. At least I thought it was in the beginning. We had communication and would frequently talk. We had a lot in common. Well, at least I thought when the relationship originally started. As the days passed, I started receiving awkward messages from different women on Facebook regarding this man. One of them was from an illegal immigrant named Erlinda--an out of shape, mentally stunted stalker who told me she hooked up with him while he was dating me. It was awkward and so random. I had no idea who this person was nor any idea why they chose to contact me, considering my relationship with the UFC fighter was discreet. Apparently, this unhinged person also messaged other friends of his; however, it is hard to say if this is true as it's clear he was quite the storyteller. I did not learn this fact until later on. Anyways, when I questioned him about it, he admitted to me that he hooked up with her earlier in the year, months before he ever met me. It was shortly after his fight. I know this is off-topic and may sound a bit judgmental, but I guess "hooking up" is the normal thing among people who are trash, but to me, I found it repulsive as I find intimacy to be special. After I was furious regarding his past tryst with the UFC groupie, he and I decided to connect our relationship statuses on Facebook shortly before he told me he blocked her. Then, he insisted that I do the same. I was actually shocked he would hook up with such a person considering he is conservative with values and standards, but that is irrelevant. I don't like gauging people, but she was certainly detritus. 

Shortly after, I discovered his roommate Amber Cordelli had a thing for him, as he told me about it when he would complain about her to me. He said he had no interest in her and only saw her as a friend. He made it crystal clear relentlessly and simultaneously that she wasn't his cup of tea and that he wasn't a fan of her aesthetic and personality. I didn't really push the envelop nor ask him more about it, as I didn't want to light any fire let alone add fuel to one that wasn't even lit. I did find it odd how he would complain about this person yet was living with her at the time. It just didn't make any sense. I also didn't know her and had no reason to judge her nor draw any conclusions about her. It is baffling what he shared with me about this individual, but looking back at it now, the person was nothing more than a shadowy nobody who gave him a place to stay. 

When he wouldn't call me, he would be teaching martial arts at a local MMA gym in the Sterling, Virginia area where he lived. I flew to Washington D.C. in October of 2010 about two weeks after my birthday. He greeted me at the airport where he couldn't keep his hands off of me. I am not a fan of PDA (or public displays of affection), so as much as I tried to resist his advances, he just kept kissing me. I am an optimistic woman, so I didn't want to tell him how inappropriate he was being as I really liked him at the time. After all, we were in a relationship. 

I met his roommate Amber the same night. She was still up when I showed up in the night. As I shook her hand, all I could think about was what he told me about her. I tried not to stare at her nor say anything, so I bit my tongue before smiling and murmuring "it is so nice to meet you." I felt quite awkward meeting her. Why? Because he told me she had a thing for him and the type of person she was. It was very weird how he and his friends would attack this woman. I will never forget eating at P.F. Chang's in Fairfax where he and his friends would attack her and say she had a "beer belly". I actually took the initiative of changing the subject. There was a song playing and I was curious to know the name so I had his friend look it up using the Shazam app. I don't care how ignorant a person is, judging their appearance is just really sad especially for entertainment purposes. On a more serious note, I was starting to see the UFC fighter's true colors the more I would hang out with him. It was starting to turn me off. 

Despite the weird vibes I got from him, it was nice to take a vacation from work. At the time I was working as a business development manager for a now defunct oil business in Montana, so I never really had any time off. The next day we got into a fight over something so minor. I cannot even remember what it was about as it was years ago. I only remember feeling a strong disconnect from him and could only think to myself "is this man for real?" I didn't want to say too much because I knew he wasn't perfect and perhaps he was having a bad day. He told me he went to some camp thing and felt like he was getting sick. We hung out everyday for a week. After the third day, I felt like I just didn't want to be with this person anymore simply because I didn't like how they acted. Also, I felt like he was being deceptive. Call it razor sharp intuition or just assumption, but something was a little off. We flew to Boston on the fourth day I was there and he complained about everyone and everything including people he was friends with the entire time. It was just very weird to me. It left a very gross taste in my mouth and I truly got bad vibes about it, but I tried not to get too anxious over it because it was evident he was venting. 

He would gossip about virtually everyone he knew and honestly, I didn't understand it. Even a guy he claimed to be friend's with who was important within the Ultimate Fight Championship organization. One time he actually had the audacity to complain about a guy who held a seminar right in front of the guy's student. It just didn't make any sense considering the guy paid for almost everything including the hotel room, food, transportation, etc. He was extremely negative and his energy was starting to kind of rub off on me. I was picking up quite a few red flags including deceit and underhandedness based on this, but I tried not to overthink much about it. He said he had a back injury and was experiencing vertigo, so I just thought those two health issues were related to his mood. He also said he felt sick because he went to some camp and it was cold and raining. One thing I noticed was he was extremely dependent and had little-to-no money. On the phone, he made promises to take me shopping for my birthday, but in person he had no money. Most of the time, I would pay for everything. One time we ate out with a friend of his and he literally ate the pasta off of my plate when I wasn't finished eating. It was just so strange to me. 

I'm thinking if a UFC fighter is not successful and they don't have money, they create an image for them self that is distorted or simply not real. They are treacherous and create some sort of subterfuge to get what they want. I am not a gold digger by any means, but at least be honest instead of hoodwinking  someone you claim to love. Perhaps that was a lie too. I'm certain it was. He belittled several of his friends to me and the only thing I could think was "if he is talking bad about them, he must be talking bad about you to others also." I didn't know whether or not what he said was true or false, but one thing is certain, I started to think he was talking about me behind my back. Something just wasn't right, but I didn't really know what it was hence why I tried not to overthink so much. Overthinking is rumination. It won't help anything related to a relationship suffering. I will admit, I have a huge heart and I didn't want to create any disdain or rectify the situation to make matters any worse. Perhaps there was a reason why he acted this way. I don't know. 

Two days before I was scheduled to fly back to Montana, we had a great day. At least I thought it was a great day. We spent the entire day at Tyson's Corner mall. Then, we decided to meet with his friend Mark for dinner. I never met Mark, but I could tell he had ulterior motives when I met him because the UFC fighter told me he wanted him to date his friend Quyen. His friend had an Asian fixation and represented the classic archetype of those caucasian men who frequent Asian pacific lands for imperialism and control. The kind that move to Asia if they could. I have many Asian friends and a lot of them would tell me about the Americans who would gravitate to Asian pacific areas for ulterior motives. During dinner, somehow the internet stalker was brought up into the conversation. It was very inappropriate of the UFC fighter's friend to bring this person up, considering this person tried to create so many weird problems for our relationship. It was very awkward. His friend proceeded to mention some girl named Quyen. I looked over at my now ex during this time and I saw him make gestures like "no" or "shhhh" to his friend, as if he didn't want me to know anything. When I used his phone to make a phone call the night before, I saw the name several times in the call history. When I originally saw the name, I literally didn't think anything of it until now. That is when I discovered his true deception. He was talking to other women behind my back. This is while telling me I was the only woman in his life. This was while he was telling me that he loved only me. 

I guess you could say I started getting bad vibes virtually immediately and was thinking of a way to get out of the relationship without it becoming a mess. I just knew instantly that I wanted out. I didn't want to create any drama nor make him hate me. I didn't want the situation to escalate into something more. I just wanted out. I started to think of the other things he would share with me. The things I discovered when I originally landed in our nation's capital to see him. When I went to use his computer, I noticed that his computer was filled with some unattractive, nasty woman wearing a corset (which I had asked him about when he turned it on, the day after I got there). He claimed he didn't know how to delete the pictures and the pictures were just sent to him by a UFC groupie. The woman kind of resembled Erlinda, as both shared the same jungle pits and bar haggard face. Like a nappier, more hideous version of Snooki from Jersey Shore. I started thinking about when I asked him about the photos originally, the second day I was there. Then, I remembered the video of the big Jerry Springer girl dancing in Florida which he had saved and refused to delete. A woman who looked like an out-of-shape schlump with blonde hair dancing at some sort of club outside on a beach. I was starting to get physically ill over what this man was doing, but I didn't want to fight with him over it. I simply didn't want to be with him anymore. 

I completely ignored him on the car ride home. He accused me of shutting down because I ignored him during the entire car ride and because I didn't tell him that I knew he was being unfaithful and cheating on me. We got into a huge argument the moment we reached his apartment. I cried because I felt betrayed just before telling him what I truly felt about him and the women he cheated on me with. He had his cell phone out also as if he were recording me. It was very discombobulated. I suspect he did it because he had a thing for humiliating women and had the intent to post the video online. It was just more examples of his explosively abusive behavior. The next day, I immediately found my center and I told him that I couldn't be in a relationship with him anymore. He told me to go to a hotel and think things through. I did not want to think anything because I made up my mind. I didn't want this relationship anymore and I told him that I just couldn't do this anymore. He said "Sarah, don't do this" but I made my mind up that it was over. I could have ignored his lack of manners, lack of class, dirty clothes, and dependent persona, but the infidelity I could not. Cheating is a sin that one cannot ignore, even if you love the person or want a relationship to last. I wanted the relationship, but I knew if I would have stayed with him it would have ruined the person I am today.

As much as I wanted the relationship to work, I realized that I had no connection with him, as I didn't see him as relationship material. To me, loyalty is everything and he wasn't someone I could ever see myself with. I didn't trust him after that. I did not trust him at all. Without trust, a relationship is technically non-existent and all of the chemistry, compatibility, communication, and connection you had with that person quickly dissolves. The love eventually fades into a memory and those traumatic and painful memories eventually end completely. A relationship without trust is like the earth without the sun. That same day we argued, I decided to pack up my belongings and wait for him to take me to the hotel. He allegedly was talking to his roommate Amber. And looking back at it now, my guess was he was doing much more than talking that day. Gross right? 

I waited for almost two hours before he took me to the Crowne Plaza hotel in Arlington where I stayed overnight until I caught my plane ride back to Montana. I made him purposely pay for the hotel, as he owed me that for all of the horrible things he did to me and put me through. I felt quite a few emotions that day; however, anger seemed to be embraced in more ways than one and triumphed all of them. I'm glad the fight happened though, as I learned a vital lesson. Just because a man tells you he loves you, doesn't mean he does. Just because a man fights in the UFC doesn't mean he is a good person. That night, I went to the hotel restaurant where I had a Long Island Tea, a veggie burger, and fries. Most of you already know--I don't usually drink, but I felt like I needed a cocktail that night. After all, I was sad and heartbroken. I felt shattered, but I met some wonderful people there the following day including Steve Wozniack and Ron Wayne from Apple, who actually were so nice and helped me with my bags the next day when going into the shuttle bus to the airport as I chatted with them before they attended a business meeting in the area. 

After I caught my flight to go home, the UFC fighter texted me once I landed back in Montana, but I never responded back. I was hurt and just done and wanted nothing from him nor anything to do with him anymore. He was toxic and I was devastated by what he did to me. I felt hurt and I felt used. I've never really been cheated on and I felt like this person compromised my value as a person. I stopped eating and didn't eat any food for at least two-to-three weeks after the relationship failed. During this time, I developed an eating disorder. That's another story. Anyways, I guess you could say that it took a major toll on my psyche. The UFC fighter started harassing my friends shortly after. They included Billy Housh and Peter Stukas. Ironically both had bad vibes about him originally. I usually disregard what others say, but I think their preconceived notions were accurate. Regardless, despite his banal yet predictable efforts to intimidate me, I still continued to ignore him. I did not have the time to engage, as I was a business development manager full-time and took on a full-time gig doing makeup artistry. Then, his roommate Amber (who is apparently trashing me and lying about me all over social media using the alias "bacon") started harassing me on social media asking if I sent packages to her place for him. This was a lie either he created or she created, as he said she had a thing for him. I didn't even know of his address, as I deleted his number and everything about him from my life. She also contacted me using her real name on Facebook and here on my blog using the Bacon alias when I auditioned for X-Factor, which you can read about that experience here

Furthermore, the woman who originally told me she "hooked up" with my now ex contacted me once again to harass me. I responded to her before blocking her virtually immediately. Then, the mentally diminutive stool took her harassment a step further and contacted friends of mine via Facebook to tell them that I am a terrorist and evil. I had my profile public at the time, so I had to make it private. Erlinda also did not hesitate to use other vulgar detestation to support her coercion. Because she is uneducated with less brain cells than a dying house plant, the hood hooker proceeded to fling out weird innuendo that was creepy. She also proceeded to fling out banal racial slurs that were so redundant and gross because I am Iranian-American. One of my friends who happens to be a conservative, African-American woman responded to her. All Erlinda could do was utilize racial slurs, accuse the woman of being me, and block her. It was so weird and so random, but had no affect in my life nor the lives of my friends as I was too busy to care. My friends were also just as busy and treated Erlinda as nothing more than an obsessed MMA groupie. It just made me realize how desperate the UFC fighter must have been to hook up with such an abominable subhuman. 

To add more fuel to the fire, the UFC fighter even had the audacity to call me while being intimate with another woman about a month later, blaring the song "Doin It" by LL Cool J. It was either with Quyen, Erlinda, or a girl named Ammie. Mature right? I blocked him completely from my life. I knew he tried to hurt me, but it didn't work because I knew the kind of person he was and realized then he wasn't who I wanted to be with. He told me he was drama-free, but he never was. He had more baggage than the Denver and Chicago airport combined. Also, he did not offer anything I needed, unless you consider a nightmare something of value. I was depressed and extremely sad over something I could not control only to realize I did nothing wrong for him to be so cunning and calculating. It was him and today I realize all of this. I spent time reflecting on the entire situation for a few months after the relationship failed. Sometimes I would blame myself and start thinking I was the cause of his terrible behavior, when in actuality I never was. It was him and today I realize this. 

Moreover, I found out from a mutual friend that the woman I thought he was cheating on me with (Quyen) ended up being his girlfriend only a week after we broke up. Nice guy right? What a sad guy, but it wasn't my loss by any means. In fact, I could never bring myself to ever contact him again as there was simply nothing there. Once a cheater, always a cheater, and I was just completely done. When I found out he was seeing someone else, I immediately was over him. All of the love was completely gone. I don't like being negative and I usually never ever talk about ex boyfriends here on my blog; however, sometimes the truth needs to be shared. I learned a lifelong lesson, but I’m very happy everything happened the way it did as I am a firm believer everything is meant to happen the way it should. God is good, great, and amazing. Today, I’m happier than ever with a wonderful man who genuinely loves me. 

Comments

Anonymous said…
Sounds like he brought drama by getting involved with low life people. Amber uses the alias Bacon and is all over social media trashing you. She’s obviously very jealous and angry. The UFC fighter you dated is quite gross. Not sure what you saw in him.
Keyvan said…
That one woman he cheated on you with looks like butthead from beavis and butthead. Erlinda looks just like butthead. He downgraded. Cordelli is real plain looking. He definitely downgraded. He looks like the Geico cavemen. Good to see you have high standards in men now. Did you learn anything?
Heidi said…
sarah, I love you and I love your honesty. I’m a long time blog reader. He must have been crazy to cheat on you but I saw his FB and Twitter and he’s rough looking with cauliflower ears and a wrinkly face. The women you mentioned are downgrades but cheaters usually hit and quit ugly women because it gives them a sense of pride. Your current boyfriend and the one before him seem to be much better than he was. Please write more story times. I love these!
George said…
What a disgusting low life loser. He must have been crazy to cheat on you. I would kill to have a woman like you.
I LOVE TRUMP said…
illegals not only cross the border for free, they spread their dirty legs for free handouts.
Anonymous said…
He’s downgraded ever since. I have him added on Facebook.
Anonymous said…
He’s now working as a substitute teacher in Tell City. I’ve known Aaron for years. While this was very hard to read as it breaks my heart hearing this, there is some truth to this. Prior to you, he was in a relationship for years with an older Brazilian woman who was married. He met her at a gym. He knew she was married. This woman was kind of ugly and looked at least 5-10 years older than him. Anyways, he knew she was married and continued to sleep with her until she dumped him and decided to be faithful to her husband. Then tried to say she was psycho. He was dating a girl Samantha who is known for being a major you know what (ho?) also in his hometown area. I saw him last week and he was going home. He had another girl in the car. You are a beautiful woman so I’m happy you moved on from him. He’s my friend but he isn’t someone you want to be with if you are looking for a serious relationship.
Anonymous said…
This was a good read. Please do more story times.
Melissa said…
He sounds like a gross pig. Looks like one also. Looks like all of the downgrades took their insecurities to new heights and depths by spreading lies about you. Disgusting trash bags they are.
Anonymous said…
Quyen is ugly. That must have been a slap in the face that he cheated on you with someone so gross. You are a beautiful woman and based on the looks of things you have done so much better since him.
Anonymous said…
What is the UFC fighter’s name?
Anonymous said…
He sounds disturbed. I would assume fighting for so long messes with the brain a bit. I suspect he used his short lived fame to screw around. Just my opinion and I suspect Amber is or was upset because she’s more jealous of you than wanting to be with him. I just get the impression. Sounds like a lot of drama.
Anonymous said…
I’m happy you are out of this relationship. Sounds problematic. He looks scary and truth be told you are/were way too good for him.
Anonymous said…
He sounds like a major loser. Good to see you had enough courage to leave him before it got serious.
Bethany said…
He definitely sounds like trash. I liked the part where you said “if he’s talking bad about them, he’s definitely talking bad about me.” He probably couldn’t leave his ego at the door and didn’t expect a beautiful, classy Persian woman to drop him like a bad habit so probably went on one of those belittling binges. If it’s the guy I’m thinking of, he looks ultimately terrible now. Karma definitely collects. As for this Erlinda and Amber. They both also look like they have suffered. Great to see you have moved forward and from the looks of things have done light years better since this scumbag. Good to see karma is also alive and well too.
Anonymous said…
That’s so weird. He was living with a woman he would belittle. Why was he there? If he had so much money. Something tells me they were more than roommates. They were obviously sleeping together. She probably wanted more and he wasn’t interested hence why she despises you because you dated him. I don’t even want to guess who he is but if it’s the same guy I think you can do better.
Anonymous said…
He sounds like a loser.
Nicole said…
These people sound like the bottom. Your ex especially. It’s good you dated him and cut strings with him before things got serious. Just imagine if you continued dating him what he would have put you through. I just got divorced. My now ex husband just had a baby with the woman he cheated on me with. I gave birth to our third daughter when he told me and only days later he left me for her. Now I’m aware of 6 women total and he brought all of them to our home without me knowing he was sleeping with them. He owns a construction business so I thought they were employees. They were women he cheated on me with. I was tested and clean but my entire psyche is damaged forever because I trusted a man who I thought was good. He also attempted to empty my bank account and use my money to fund some of his trips with these women. He posts on Instagram and social media like he has money but his businesses are failing. My family has been destroyed but no hope is lost and I’m happy I can use my own money and not worry about whether or not my ex is going to take more of it. I will always love him as he is the father of my children but I’ll never love him nor be in love with him. Glad you got out of this and have no ties to him. He’s just a bad experience remember that. You should be blessed you never had kids with him. He would have denied they existed and then after taking him to court he’s the type that probably would have never paid. He sounds like a major loser.
Anonymous said…
I looked up Amber Cordelli. She looks rough. You can tell she hits the bottle. But yeah, I agree with what everyone is saying these people are all garbage. The UFC fighter especially. Sorry to hear @Nicole that happened to you. I hope you meet someone good in the near future.
Anonymous said…
Amber, Erlinda, and Quan all look like dirty slobs.
Lola said…
How tall was the UFC fighter you dated? Beautiful photo of you and thank you for this write-up. I dated a man who was kind of famous and he too was a cheater. I’m happy you are bringing this to the surface and sharing this truth with us.
M.A. Carrano said…
Erlinda looks like a cross between Snooki from Jersey Shore, Vin Diesel, and a ham sandwich.
Anonymous said…
I remember this. Before he was dating you, he was dating this ugly old Brazilian woman who looked like she got her BBL in Tijuana. She was married so it never worked out. He slept with a married woman and so insecure it’s doubtful he would or could be faithful.
Kathy said…
Erlinda is physically revolting. Ugly face. Huge nose, thin lips, and a wide jaw. The tattoos are so tacky. She clearly has low self esteem to put tattoos on her chest. All around disgusting.
Anonymous said…
I saw your ex tweeted that nasty, road hard adult actress. Jenna what’s her name. The one with more plastic than a Porsche bumper. The one who has seen more phallus than Hanes underwear. She’s gross and so is he.
Anonymous said…
Disgusting! You can do light years better.
Justice for Johnny Depp said…
He sounds unhinged and Amber sounds insane. These people are trash. Glad you got out of that relationship. Imagine the nightmare that would have manifested if you married this guy? He’s also washed up and looks so old compared to you. I’m trying to understand what attraction you had to him.
Anonymous said…
His bald friend Mark is a loser. One of those no talent, washed up people you see chasing fame. He’s in a bunch of Z-rated, junk food films. Clearly going no where. Karma is real folks. Start being a good person and good things will happen to you. Remember that.