Showing posts with label UFC. Show all posts
Showing posts with label UFC. Show all posts

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Storytime: I dated an UFC fighter

In July of 2010, I met an UFC fighter. We started talking and dating shortly after. At the time, it was around the middle of Summer so it was shortly after I was hit by a car in June. He and I would talk about virtually everything including the cheesy martial arts movie called "No Retreat, No Surrender" which was about a starving martial artist who learned to fight by Bruce Lee coming into his dreams. If you love martial arts, you know this movie. There was never a dull moment in the beginning of our relationship. He was funny and always had great things to say. At least, at this time.

Days later, I started receiving awkward messages from different women including an illegal immigrant named Erlinda, who told me she hooked up with him while he was dating me. When I questioned him about it, he said he hooked up with her earlier in the year months before he ever met me. I know this will sound judgmental and even off topic, but I guess "hooking up" is the normal thing among people who are trash, but to me, I found it repulsive as I find sex to be special. Then, he and I decided to connect our relationship statuses on Facebook shortly before he told me he blocked her. He, then insisted that I do the same. I was actually shocked he would hook up with such a person considering he is conservative.

Shortly after, I discovered his roommate Amber Cordelli had a thing for him, as he told me about it when he would complain about her to me. He said he had no interest in her and only saw her as a friend. He also said she wasn't his cup of tea and made it clear he wasn't a fan of her aesthetics nor physique. I didn't really push the envelop nor ask him more about it, as I trusted him. I did find it odd how he would complain about this person yet was living with her. It just didn't make any sense. I also didn't know her and had no reason to judge her or draw any conclusions about her. It is baffling what he shared with me about this individual, but looking back at it now, the person was nothing more than a shadowy nobody.

When he wouldn't call me, he would be teaching martial arts at a local MMA gym in the Sterling, Virginia area where he lived. I flew to Washington DC in October of 2010 about two weeks after my birthday. He greeted me at the airport where he couldn't keep his hands off of me. I am not a fan of PDA (or public displays of affection), so as much as I tried to resist his advances, he just kept kissing me. I am an optimistic woman, so I didn't want to tell him how inappropriate he was being as I really liked him at the time. And after all, we were in a relationship.

I met his roommate Amber the same night. She was still up when I showed up in the night. As I shook her hand, all I could think about was what he told me about her. I tried not to stare at her nor say anything, so I bit my tongue before smiling and murmuring "it is so nice to meet you". I felt quite awkward meeting her. Why? Because he told me she had a thing for him and the type of person she was. It was very weird how he and his friends would attack this woman. I will never forget eating at PF Changs in Fairfax where he and his friends would attack her and say she had a "beer belly". I actually took the initiative and told them to stop bullying her before attempting to change the subject to a more positive nature. I don't care how ignorant a person is, judging their appearance is just really sad. And on a more serious note, I was starting to see the UFC fighter's true colors the more I would hang out with him.

In spite of the weird vibes I got from him, it was nice to take a vacation from work to see him. The next day we got into a fight over something so minor. I cannot even remember what it was about as it was years ago. I only remember feeling a strong disconnect from him and could only think to myself "is this man for real?" I didn't want to say too much because I know not everyone is perfect and perhaps he would was having a bad day. We hung out everyday for a week. After the third day, I felt like I just didn't want to be with this person anymore simply because I didn't like how he acted and I felt like I was being lied to. We flew to Boston on the fourth day while I was there and he complained about everything including people he was friends with the entire time. It was just very weird to me.

He would gossip about virtually everyone and I didn't understand it. He was extremely negative and his energy was starting to kind of rub off on me. I was picking up quite a few red flags including deception based on just this, but tried not to overthink much about it. One thing I noticed was he was extremely dependent and had little-to-no money. On the phone he made promises to take me shopping, but in person he had no money. Most of the time, I would pay for everything. One time we ate out with a friend of his and he literally ate the pasta off of my plate when I wasn't finished eating. It was just so strange to me.

I'm thinking if a UFC fighter is not successful and they don't have money, they create an image for them self that is distorted or simply not real. They create false hope. I am not a gold digger by any means, but at least be honest instead of creating an image for yourself and making promises you simply cannot keep. You know what I mean? He belittled several of his friends and the only thing I could think was "if he is talking bad about them, he must be talking bad about you to others also." I didn't know whether or not what he said was true or false, but one thing is certain, I started to think he was talking about me behind my back. Something just wasn't right, but I didn't really know what it was hence why I tried not to overthink so much. I have a huge heart and I didn't want to create any disdain or rectify the situation to make matters any worse. Perhaps there was a reason why he acted this way, I don't know.

Two days before I was scheduled to fly back to Montana, we had a great day as we spent the entire day at Tyson's Corner mall. Then, we decided to meet with his friend Mark for dinner. Some how the illegal immigrant was brought up in the conversation from what I remember. It was very inappropriate of his friend to bring this person up, considering this person tried to create so many weird problems. His friend proceeded to mention some girl named Quyen. I looked over at my now ex and saw him make gestures like "no" or "shhhh". When I used his phone to make a phone call, I saw the name several times in the call history. When I originally saw the name, I literally didn't think anything of it until now. That is when I discovered his deception. His true deception. He was talking to other women while telling me I was the only woman. This was while he was telling me that he loved only me. 

I started getting bad vibes virtually immediately and was thinking of a way to get out of the relationship without it becoming a mess. I just knew instantly that I wanted out. I didn't want to create any drama nor make him hate me. I just wanted out. His computer was filled with some unattractive woman wearing a corset (which I had asked him about when he turned it on, the day after I got there). He claimed he didn't know how to delete the pictures and the pictures were just sent to him by a UFC groupie. I started thinking about when I asked him about it originally, the second day I was there. Then, I remembered the video of the big Jerry Springer girl dancing in Florida which he had saved. I was starting to get physically ill over what this man was doing, but I didn't want to fight with him. I simply didn't want to be with him anymore. 

I completely ignored him on the car ride home. He accused me of shutting down because I ignored him and didn't tell him that I knew he was being unfaithful. We got into a huge argument the moment we reached his apartment. I cried because I felt betrayed just before telling him what I truly felt about him and the women he cheated on me with. The next day, I told him that I couldn't do this anymore and I didn't want this relationship anymore. He said "Sarah, don't do this" but I made my mind up that it was over. I could have ignored his lack of manners, lack of class and dependent persona, but the infidelity I could not. Cheating is a sin that one cannot ignore, even if you love the person.

As much as I wanted this to work, I realized that I had no connection with him, as I didn't see him as relationship material. To me, loyalty is everything and he wasn't someone I could ever see myself with. I didn't trust him after that at all. Without trust, a relationship is technically non-existent. A relationship without trust is like the earth without the sun. That same day we argued, I decided to pack up my belongings and wait for him to take me to the hotel. He allegedly was talking to Amber his roommate. And looking back at it now, my guess was he was doing much more than talking that day. Gross right?

I waited for an hour before he took me to the Crowne Plaza hotel where I stayed overnight until I caught my plane ride back to Montana. I made him purposely pay for the hotel, as he owed me that for all of the horrible things he did. All of the horrible things he did to me and put me through. I felt quite a few emotions that day; however, anger seemed to be embraced in more ways than one and triumphed all of them. I'm glad the fight happened though, as I learned a vital lesson. Just because someone is a fighter for the UFC, doesn't mean they are a good person. Just because a man tells you he loves you, doesn't mean he does. That night, I went to the hotel restaurant where I had a Long Island Tea, veggie burger and fries. I met some wonderful people there including Steve Wozniack and Ron Wayne, who actually were so nice and helped me with my bags the next day when going into the shuttle bus to the airport.

The UFC fighter texted me once I landed back in Montana, but I never wrote back. I was just done and wanted nothing from him nor anything to do with him anymore. He started harassing my friends, including my friends Billy Housh and Peter Stukas, shortly after. But in spite of his banal intimidation efforts, I still continued to ignore him. Then, his roommate Amber started harassing me on social media asking if I sent packages to her place for him. This was a lie either he created or she created, as he said she had a thing for him. I didn't even know of his address, as I deleted his number and everything about him from my life. He even had the audacity to call me while being intimate with another woman about a month later, blaring the song "Doin It" by LL Cool J. Real mature right? I blocked him completely from my life. I could never bring myself to ever contact him, as there was simply nothing there. Once a cheater, always a cheater and I was just done. 

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Martial Arts Talk: Exclusive Interview with Elaina Maxwell

MMA Fighter Elaina "Beef"
Back in late 2012, I had the opportunity to talk to MMA fighter Elaina Maxwell. As one of the toughest women on the planet, Maxwell has an array of experience in women's mixed martial arts, as she has quite a few fights under her belt.

Recently, I caught up with her again. Only this time we talk about training, the UFC, and Gina Carano. Elaina also answers some questions from her fans. Here is what Elaina had to say...

(Q) Hello Elaina! It's been quite a while since we both spoke. How are you?

I have been great! I have been training at two gyms. The CSA Gym ( in Dublin, CA and Unlimited MMA in Milpitas, CA. I've been working with a boxing trainer by the name of Tony Clayton.

(Q) You have been training a lot. Taking you through an average day of training, what is your current training regime? Tell me a little more about it...
I train around my work schedule, which is different every week, so it keeps me on my toes as far as finding time to do both. I'm getting in 5 days of training every week!

(Q) Let's talk about the UFC (or Ultimate Fighting Championship). What are your thoughts about women's MMA being added?
I'm in love with women's MMA being in the UFC. On my Warrior Nation episode on MSNBC in 2006 (vs. Gina Carano), Dana White said that women will never be in the UFC. I am very glad he changed his mind. The fans want to see us in the UFC!

(Q) I believe UFC President Dana White needs to add the Women's Featherweight (or 145 pound) category. I also believe you need to be in the UFC, as well.
I know I belong in the UFC, so thank you for your support!

(Q) If you could say anything to Mr. Dana White right now, what would you say?
I'll fight Gina right now!

(Q) One of your fans named George writes: "If you could get down to 135 just to fight with the Ultimate Fighting Championship, would you do it or are you going to wait until Dana adds the 145 pound weight class?"
If I could make the drop to 135 easier, I would, but I am hoping Dana adds a FW 145 class, ASAP. In the meantime, I am going to fight a kickboxing fight and then get right back into the cage.

(Q) One of your fans named Troy writes: "Who do you think is the toughest woman in MMA right now? Why?"
Catch 22, LOL! Naturally, I think the toughest women in MMA are the FW female fighters, but is only because I pay more attention to the women in my weight class than others.

(Q) A lot of people have contacted me about your skincare routine. In fact, another fan, Rachel writes: "I am a big fan of Elaina Maxwell. I am curious Elaina, what do you do to make your skin look so luminous?"

Thank you for noticining. I drink a lot of Kangen water since I have a machine at home and in addition to that, I don't spend much time in the sun. If I do, I make sure to overdose on sunscreen, as you can never wear too much. Plus, I use all natural skin products by Chen Skin Health ( in NYC.

(Q) Is it possible to train without music? Another fan, Keith writes: "When you are training Elaina, what do you listen to? What is on your iPod?"
Of course it is. I will run without music sometimes, but for the most part, I listen to whatever is playing at the gym because my iPod Touch was stolen. #frownyface.

Elaina Maxwell doing extensive
pad work with her trainer.
(Q) For all of your fans reading this interview, what would you like them to know? What is next for Elaina "Beef" Maxwell?
I almost took a boxing fight, but the promoter could not find a match for me, so for now, I'm getting ready to visit Thailand in July, if funds allow me to do so. I will be fighting there, as well and would like to take a Muay Thai fight in the states before I return to MMA. My last MMA fight was in 2012 (vs. Ashley Sanchez) and since then, I have been married and moved.

I would like to thank my sponsors for taking care of me during this hiatus: Knoxx Gear, Tussle Fight Gear, CSA, Gracie Fighter, and of course, my chiropracter, Dr. Dan Russell at Main Street Chiro in Pleasanton, CA. I will be back in 2014! Get ready!
For more about MMA fighter Elaina "Beef" Maxwell, visit today!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Interview with Womens MMA icon, Elaina Maxwell

Training in the heart of Dublin, California at CSA Gym under trainer Kirian Fitzgibbons, Elaina Maxwell remains to be one of the best women's MMA fighters in the world today. I discovered Elaina when I watched her face Gina Carano on Strikeforce: Triple Threat and became a fan almost instantaneously.  
With her first title win in 2002 as a Gold medalist at the Born to Fight II, her professional MMA title win in 2007 as the Golden State Light Middleweight MMA Champion to her latest win in 2012 at the Resurrection Fighting Alliance, Maxwell is making many waves in the MMA world.

Elaina discovered martial arts when she fell in love with kickboxing. As an athlete, it was a workout trend and completely worked as an off-season workout. It was then that Elaina discovered her love for contact sports, as she loved the intensity and competitive environment. While finishing her volleyball career and pursuing her educational goals at San Jose State University, Maxwell made the USH! Fight Team in 1997. Since then, her career as a martial artist took off.

To Maxwell, martial arts consists of many different elements. When I asked her what martial arts she currently trains, she told me - "I currently train MMA, but since it consists of so many different elements, I practice boxing, Muay Thai, wrestling, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Strength Training, Conditioning, Clinch, and Running."

There is always a memorable fight. When I asked Elaina about the toughest woman she fought she told me "Sun Li of China". When I asked her why, she said "I fought her at the 2005 Wushu Sanshou World Championships in Hanoi, Vietnam in the finals. She captured the gold that night, as she won by decision. I walked away with a silver medal & from Sanshou that day. With every ending, there is a new beginning, so with that said...I discovered MMA and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu the next year. Since then, I have gone on to win titles in MMA, BJJ, and look forward to my return to the cage in early 2013."

Even the toughest women on the planet get intimidated and scared of a fight. When I asked Elaina if she has ever been intimidated or scared of a fight, she told me "Yes, but it is the fear that makes you perform."

Maxwell told me that her favorite MMA fighter is "Anderson Silva" saying "He is very humble yet very successful."

When I asked her what her favorite food was, she was not hesitant to tell me - "They call me BEEF for a reason. My absolute favorite food is steak, especially the filet." She went on to tell me - "I know red meat is hard to digest, so I eat it sparingly. Maybe once a week, along with dairy."
Is dieting during the holidays possible? I asked Elaina if she thought dieting during the holidays was possible. She told me "Yes, I believe in cheat meals." When I asked her if she followed a diet, she directed me to the "Dolce diet."

There are many women all over the world that struggle with their weight. I asked Elaina what tips she had for women who are struggling with their weight. She told me "Take one day at a time, write down what eat, weigh yourself the first thing in the morning and repeat this once a week. Believe in yourself and see yourself at your ideal weight. If you can dream it, you can achieve it!"

Outside of MMA, Elaina loves spending time with her husband. She said "My absolute favorite thing to do is spend time with my husband. He is from South Africa, so there is always something new and fun to do in the Bay Area/Northern California."

We can appreciate the past and admire it for developing us into who we are today. I asked Elaina what her plans were for the future. She said "I plan on being the new Invicta FC Featherweight Champ in 2013 and look forward to spending the rest of my days with my new husband."

Elaina would like to thank KNOXX, Tussle, CSA, Gracie Fighter, Main Street Chiro, and my family, including her twin sister and her husband for all of their continued support, both in and out of the cage.

For more information about WMMA fighter and icon Elaina Maxwell, please visit: